Archive for the ‘ friends ’ Category

Open Letter to a Friend

Author: Kool Aid

Mar 8

About a year and a half ago, I posted this to my blog. It has proven to be my most visited post since then. Even though it’s as old as it is, it’s still as prevalent today as it was then. I hope you don’t mind a re-do.

My dear friend,

I’m so glad we met those many years ago. You are my oldest friend, even though I’m older than you. I can’t even begin to list all the things we’ve done and learned and experienced in life together. It’s good to know we still have that connection, even if we don’t talk for a while.

My dear friend, I know we haven’t talked in years, but you’re still on my mind. I remember those times my sophomore year in high school when the four of us would hang out at lunch. I never laughed so hard, careening through stoplights to get to Burger King and back in less than 30 minutes. I think we are the reason they closed off-campus lunches.

I remember slumber parties and sneaking out of the house and I laugh to myself; I look back on groups of us going to the old abandoned meat packing plant and I’m thankful none of us got hurt – but boy did we have fun! Then you moved away and we kept in touch only occasionally for a few years, then not at all. I ran into one of our group not too long ago back home. He hadn’t changed a bit and it brought back fun memories.

My dear friend, my roommate in college, I wonder how you are. We lost touch when our life paths meandered in different directions, but I still think of you. We saw each other through good times and bad and I find myself hoping your life has more good than bad these days. I wonder if you’re still chasing your dream of Hollywood and being a makeup artist or if you caught that dream and I look for your name in the rolling credits. But then I think maybe you found a new dream and I wish I knew what it was.

My dear friends, the “great wall of China,” Woodstock ’94, and my fellow Pirates grads. You were also there through good times and bad and even better times. You were there for my wedding; some of you met my daughter but only one of you know my son. Such is life when you live in different states. Even if we don’t talk much, I still think of you often and chuckle to myself.

My dear friend, I know you are struggling now, but I am here for you.

My dear friend, you’ve traveled the globe and I am so envious! I haven’t seen you since our girls were small but the pictures you share are great. I look at your faces and I’m thankful you have a life full of love and happiness. I only wish we could have visited you in New Zealand!

My dear friend, I miss your laugh and your quirky sense of humor. We hit it off after a short time and our kids played well together. I wonder if my daughter and your son will still get married, like they planned. What fun that would be – to call you family! I’m glad we still talk on the phone, even though we haven’t seen each other in years. Let’s get that girl’s weekend on the calendar!

My dear friend, I wish you took my calls. I know it was hard on you when I moved, but I’m still here wishing I could talk to you. We don’t have to see our faces to call ourselves friends. You held my infant son, took care of my daughter and shared in some of the most funniest moments of my life. I can’t imagine how big your boys are now. I hope you are well and I think of you often.

My dear friends, too many to mention, that I see around me now. You are an amazing gift and I’m so thankful for all the friends I have been given in my life. Friends have changed me, molded me over my lifetime into who I am today. I have angels in my life today and it’s amazing to watch our children become the friends that we are. It’s my hope and prayer that my friends – all of them, old and new – know what they mean to me and continue to mold and shape the lives of those around them. Friends are special and we should treasure them always.

My dear friend, I love you.

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Filed under: friends

It’s not goodbye, it’s ’til next time

Author: Kool Aid

Apr 9

“It’s not goodbye, it’s ’til next time” is something I grew up hearing from my dad. It’s also something I’ve gotten a little bit used to over the years. I’ve moved numerous times in my life for a variety of reasons. I’ve had to say “so long” to many good friends because I was moving on to new locales.

This time, it’s my friend who is moving. She is someone who has become very important to me over the short time I’ve been in this current city and I’ve mentioned her before as my homeschool connection. She’s a rock for me here, someone who would give me a straight answer, lend a shoulder to cry on, and is a faith-builder in every sense of the word. She’s also my go-to gal for tons of good information, advice, gripes, and celebrations in all things homeschool.

Her husband is career military and has been stationed in another state for the last year. She’s been living the “single” parent life and it hasn’t been easy. Just in the last few weeks, they made the decision to put the family back together again and she’s moving to be with him for the next 18 months or so. My head rejoices in their reunion but my heart doesn’t want her to go.

Last night we surprised her with a going away dinner and it was wonderful to see everyone together celebrating their friendship with her. Several in the group were still in denial, but there weren’t any tears ~ at least none that I saw. Just lots of laughter, stories, hugs and pictures.

But 18 months isn’t that long in the grand scheme of things. We were in Oklahoma for about that long and there were some beautiful memories and friendships made in that time. Looking back, 18 months just flew by. I made some amazing friends, some of whom I still keep in touch with through Facebook, explored a part of the country I had never been before (love a good road trip!!), and most certainly not least of all, Little Man was born there.

I’m sure my friend will make some great friends there and even though leaving here will be hard, she’s a strong willed and minded woman and I know she will make the most of her journey.

But there’s nothing “good” about saying goodbye and it’s only 18 months or so, so instead, I’ll just say “’til next time, friend”. And good thing there’s Facebook

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Filed under: daily life, friends

Refrigerator Friends

Author: Kool Aid

Nov 24

I’ve been thinking about this post for a while. It has to do with friends and how close they are. It’s a concept that I heard a long time ago. In fact, I had to go back in my blog to see if I had written about it before. Nope. But that in itself got me thinking about people who blog for a living and have pages and pages and pages – years’ worth of posts; how do you keep from getting repetitive? But I digress.

It’s the concept of “refrigerator friends”. The basic definition is that a “refrigerator friend” is a friend you’d let look in your fridge (or you would go in their fridge) if they were at your house. I’m not talking about looking like snooping, but one of those times when you’d say, “Sure, help yourself,” when they ask for a drink and they go to your fridge to get one.

Think about what is in your fridge and would you let a friend see it? You have leftovers stacked on top of each other. Bottles of condiments playing Jenga in the door. Maybe even a science experiment growing in the back. Or maybe you’re the kind of person that has the TV commercial fridge that’s absolutely perfect. If you do, this concept might not apply to you.

The idea is that if a friend is close enough to see the “junk” in your fridge then they are a true, dear friend. There are no pretensions, no fronts. I love having friends like that. It’s too much work keeping up pretensions with people who are close to me. What’s the point? Why bother? Having that open friendship allows us to laugh and cry with each other. We’re honest and caring and when troubles come, we have a place to turn.

Sure, I have acquaintances and I’ll invite them over for a party or gathering, but I may set up my house and kitchen so that they don’t look in my fridge. I mean, I do have some pride (my fridge is a mess on any given day). And I have refrigerator friends who don’t live near me any more; friends made in early childhood, school and college and beyond. That distance, though, makes no difference. If they were visiting, even if it’s been YEARS since hugging their neck last, I’d still say, “Sure, help yourself.”

I love my refrigerator friends. They are a blessing to me and mine.

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Filed under: friends

Open Letter to a Friend

Author: Kool Aid

Jul 8

My dear friend,

My dear friend, I know you are struggling now, but I am here for you.

My dear friend, I love you.

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Filed under: friends

Cheyenne

Author: Kool Aid

Apr 30

November 24, 1994 - April 30, 2009

Rest easy, dear friend.

(Oh, and Mom, Dad, I’m ok, just please don’t call to check on me, k?)

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What is a friend?

Author: Kool Aid

Jan 13

photo by Gwennypics

Friends.

A wise man once told me that if you can count the number of good, true friends on one hand, you are truly blessed (thanks, Daddy). I think that I am lucky enough to have a few more than that. I’ve made lots of friends over the years. Some have come and gone, but some have stayed with me. One from childhood (Hi, E.S.!), a few from college and many since then. People that I know that I can count on if I need help.

So, what is a friend? How do you define friendship? Is it someone you don’t have to talk to but you know is there for you? Is it someone you see every day? Do they take care of your children or do you take care of theirs, or both? Could it be someone that you’ve never even met face to face, only become friends over the internet?

How do you maintain that friendship? Is it though phone calls, emails, Facebook or texting? Do you see them on a daily or weekly basis? Maybe only once a month for dinner out or once a year for a weekend getaway? Or is it even less often than that?

I know that we can’t get through life without building relationships with others. Our children are quick to make friends and we should be, too. We should be open to meeting people of all kinds because we never know what kind of influence they’ll have on our lives. I know that I’m guilty of staying within my comfort zone when it comes to meeting people and making friends. I haven’t ventured out to areas outside my church or my daughter’s school or the gym where I work out. So what am I missing? Is it possible that my horizons could be broadened by befriending someone who is struggling with addiction? Or someone who is from another country or culture than mine? Absolutely.

What holds me back? I don’t know… fear of the unknown, perhaps. Shyness. Hmmm… something to work on.

I can’t imagine what life would be like without the friends I’ve made. They make me laugh, hold me when I cry, tell me if I’m screwing up (nothing like brutal honesty from a friend, right?), help me with advice or even just hang out with me. I’m so very thankful for the friends that I have made.

I remember another bit of wisdom. I’m sure I’ll get the wording wrong but hopefully you’ll get my meaning. Friends love you because they want to, family loves you because they have to. That may not be entirely true – I’m sure there are some who don’t love certain family members – but the point is, the friends you have don’t have to be your friends. They are there because they want to be and because you want them to be there, too.

Treasure your friends. Tell them once in a while – hey, I’m glad you’re here. Think about the things you value in your friends and are you exhibiting those same traits to them? Are you as good a friend to others as they are to you?

Go hug a friend today. Just because.

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Filed under: friends, random musings

Thankfulness

Author: Kool Aid

Nov 25

photo by mathewingram

It’s Thanksgiving! Well, almost. In just three days, it’ll be Thanksgiving. Close enough, right? We are traveling, just like everyone else in the country, so this will probably be my last post for the week. First one, too, apparently.

I wanted to encourage you, in this time of pushing Christmas shopping, to stop and remember that this week is Thanksgiving. A time to give thanks. We get so wrapped up in Christmas, Christmas, Christmas that Thanksgiving often gets missed (unless you count the Day-After-Thanksgiving attention). Sunday, our pastors reminded us that we should stop and be thankful. Thankful for many big and little things, especially in this time of economic troubles. Do you have your health? Be thankful. Do you have your family? Be thankful. Do you have food and clothes? Be thankful.

I’m thankful for so many things. I’m making a list (and checking it twice, gonna find out … wait – wrong season!) and I encourage you to do the same.

I’m thankful for my family. My husband who is my best friend. My children who amaze me every day. I’m thankful that my children still have all of their grandparents and nanny. I’m thankful I still have all my aunts, uncles, cousins, sister-in-law and beautiful nieces.

I’m thankful for my friends. ’Nuf said.

I’m thankful for my health – such as it is. Sure, I could be healthier, but I’m good.

I’m thankful for the house we have (even though I have a love/hate relationship with it).

I’m thankful for the grocery game because we’re able to eat well and still stay under budget.

I’m thankful for Dave Ramsey (even though I hate having to stick to a budget) and for not having car payments.

I’m thankful it didn’t rain on me this morning while I was bagging leaves in the yard. (The rain came later and stayed all day long. In case you were wondering).

I’m thankful that my husband has a good job and I don’t have to work, even though I do, part time.

I’m thankful for so many other things like sunrises and sunsets, rain, a good book, brownies, my children’s teachers and schools, my church and my pets.

What are you thankful for?

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Filed under: friends, holidays

Seasons of life

Author: Kool Aid

Nov 20

An old friend called the other day. Not one of these old friends but a real person kind of old friend. Honestly, we hadn’t talked in probably two years. I’ll call him Steve, but that’s not his real name. We worked together at a music store way back when I was in college. We never dated or anything, we were just friends. In fact, he, his roommate, my roommate and I went to Woodstock ’94. Now those were good times. Hanging out in the mud and rain, listening to all different kinds of music… but I digress.

My point this evening is that while talking with Steve, I realized that we are no longer in the same season. Over the last two years or so, I would hear people talking about the “seasons of life”. Everyone goes through them at varying times. I’ve been through several already. Not counting High School (which is a season of seasons), I’ve survived probably three or four different ones.

Let’s see, there’s the Freshman in College Season. Yes, this does deserve it’s own season. Think back to when you first started college, if you went to college. All of a sudden you are on your own. You have no one to answer to but yourself. Some make it, some don’t, some barely scoot by and some excel. But either way, you go through that season. I survived, fairly well if I remember correctly.

Then, for me, there’s the party season. Specifically raves. Yes, I’m old school. I admit it. I was going to raves back when they were still in dark warehouses that had electricity pumped in for the weekend or even just the night. Invitations were printed on tiny slips of paper or it would just be word of mouth. I’d think nothing of getting off work at said record store at 9:30 or 10:00pm, drive two hours to get to a rave in another city and stay out all night long then turn around and drive back in time enough to open the store again at 1:00 Sunday afternoon.

That season lasted about a year or two. Then there were the Dead shows. Need I say more? Actually, for a while there, those two seasons coexisted. Come to think of it, College Life needs it’s own season, period.

Back then I was young and dumb. Crazy, even. I wasn’t a bad person, but hey, it was college. I’ll be able to relate to my daughter and son when they get older (God help me!).

Then there was the post-College pre-Marriage season. Just trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. You know, the typical 20-something. Trey and I were hanging out, traveling, working a lot but it was good, you know?

Then we got married. Everything changed, but slowly at first. We would still meet up with friends and hang out at restaurants with bars but nothing that would be considered “partying”. We still traveled and had fun. Another season.

Then Monkey came along – ushering in the Parenting Season. This, by far, has been the most challenging and rewarding season of all.

Steve is still in the post-College pre-Marriage season. I talked about being a PTA mom, driving a mini-van and he laughed. I’m guessing he still sees me as the raving hippie that I used to be. He talked to me about his old roommate and going back to our college town for homecoming. He told me about his current jobs and such. He’s been seeing someone for a while – you know, we chatted. I talked about the kids and school, we talked movies and music and how much things have changed in the music sales industry since we were working together. We talked for about 45 minutes about lots of things, actually, but when we were done, I realized how different I had become.

Had being a mom really changed me that much? Do I really have that little to offer someone outside my season? Sure, I can relate very well with parents of children about 10 years and younger, but after that, what do I really have other than stories and experiences? I’m sure they will come in handy one day- like when Monkey hits her teen years (AAAH!).

Seasons come and go; the wheel is turning and you can’t slow down. All we can do is move forward and look back fondly on our lives. We all have our seasons.

So, what season are you in?

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Filed under: friends, random musings

where's the love, man?

Author: Kool Aid

Nov 11

[knock knock] Anyone home? Hey, Kool-Aid? Are you there? Where is she? Anyone know where Kool-Aid is?

I have been wallowing in self-pity, that’s where. See, Trey is out of town and I’m left to do all the work two parents normally are able to share. It’s not like he hasn’t traveled for work before. It’s not like I haven’t done the “single parent” thing before. I’ve done it several times over the course of the last 6 years. No, many times. More than I care to remember.

Sometimes it’s a weekend, sometimes it’s a week, sometimes it’s two weeks, but every time it gets harder.

Maybe it’s the age of the kids. 6 and just-about 3. They keep me busy; they keep the house messy – oh, wait, no that’s me. But they help keep it messy. And I’m forever trying to negotiate peace treaties. After this, I think I could help the Israelites and the Palestinians strike a permanent peace accord – surely that would be easier than getting those two siblings to get along.

I’m wallowing in self-pity because I can. Poor-poor me. I really shouldn’t be, though. There are others who are worse off than me, for sure. I have a roof over my head, food in the kitchen and a car to get me where I need to go. Also, I have friends that love me and are willing to help. Why is it so hard to ask for help? A dear friend and I were talking on Saturday and she told me “When you don’t ask for help, you rob someone of the opportunity to help you.”

When you don’t ask for help, you rob someone of the opportunity to help you.

Strong statement, that. Yeah, I have smart friends. I should listen to them.

So, I’m asking for help. Accountability from some of you readers out there. Have I cleaned the computer desk yet? How about picked up the toys? More importantly, have I read to Little Man today or is he plopped in front of the one-eyed babysitter? Have I played Little Pet Shop with Monkey today? Or helped her with her homework? What about those leaves that are scattered like so many thoughts out in the front yard?

Imagine how happy those kids would be if I raked up a great big pile for them to play in.

Imagine how much fun it’ll be for me to watch those kids scatter the leaves that I worked so hard to put in a pile for them.

They might actually get along… for about 5 minutes until one jumps in the pile before the other one and a fight ensues because the pile is no longer there and there are no more leaves to jump in because big sister or little brother spread them all out again and now there’s just no more fun to be had even though there are a bazillion trillion leaves out there that just need to be scooped back up and tossed into the air.

I think I should head to Israel.

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Filed under: friends, lessons, random musings

date night

Author: Kool Aid

Oct 19

Wow, it’s been a busy few days, hasn’t it? First off, I don’t have any neat anecdotal stories about the children. They’ve been pretty typical kids this week, so nothing funny to blog about there.

Trey and I celebrated 9 years of marriage this week, though, and that’s pretty big! We had tickets to see Ray LaMontagne on Friday night, downtown. Trey had the wonderful idea, at about noon on Friday, to get a hotel room and have a mini-vacation before he heads out of town.

Have you ever tried to be spontaneous with a 6 and almost-3 year old?

We had a babysitter lined up already, which almost never happens for me. Usually something comes up and the babysitter falls through. Just my luck, right? However, the idea of getting away with my husband, even for a night, is appealing enough to call my cousin to see if they could keep the kids overnight.

Unfortunately, my cousin was gone fishing and his wife was alone with their two kids. I’m certainly not going to ask her to take care of our two also. I don’t know how moms of four can do it.

So, I called two other friends to see if one could take Little Man and the other could take Monkey. Let me just say, I have wonderful friends. Our sudden imposition on their weekend plans allowed for us to have a night with just the two of us, for the first time since Little Man was born. Sounds pretty selfish, now that I type it. Needless to say, we are in debt to them. I’m sure I’ll have their children over for a sleepover sometime in the near future – although probably not at the same time.

I absolutely hated calling the babysitter and canceling on such short notice, but when I explained what we were trying to do and why, she was totally understanding. I’ll be calling her again soon to help out while Trey is gone.

I won’t bore you with the details of our evening. We went to dinner, relaxed and people watched. The place where we ate had patio seating and it was just cool enough to enjoy it. There are some interesting people that come to downtown on a Friday night. The concert was great, although between every song – and I mean EVERY song – people were yelling and whistling and yelling out songs. You know, that’s fine sometimes – I’ve done it, too, if it’s a particularly rocking song, but EVERY time? That starts to cut in on others’ enjoyment.

All in all, it was a great evening out. Something that we hope to do again before another three years is up.

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Filed under: friends, us

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